squidwurd:

squidwurd:

i burn calories by insulting them

“hey calories your mom is ugly hahaha BURN!”

(via svvitzerland)

beyoncebeytwice:

finished my homework in 25 minutes

msjewbooty:

“Hey what’s up,” I ask my audience. “Nothin” they say back to me. “That’s right.” I agree. Ceilings have been outlawed since the 80s.

(via inbox)

slydigger:

*5th grade boy voice* yeah bro I’m a lesbian that means I like girls xDDDD

(via skeironz-azurebane)

centaurs-other-testicle:

japert:

Friends with mean and overprotective parents

when they are so overprotective you guys can hardly hang out

Being the friend with overprotective parents

(via skeironz-azurebane)

snlofficial:

when ur crush talks about how hot someone else is

(via ledesesp0ir)

thinsiqnificant:

spongebob’s thigh gap is dope as fuck

(via wartortles)

thelandoffakebelieve:

Technically any zoo is a petting zoo if youre not a pussy

(via inbox)

wiitangclan:

wiitangclan:

the best way to a girls heart is punching through the ribcage 

apparently this is illegal but dont let it stop you

(Source: tapdancers, via inbox)

internetexplorers:

a screamo version of the lion king theme song

(via bigmacofficial)